Shades of black won't bring her back

by ATENA

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1.
00:34
2.
03:12
3.
03:21
4.
5.
01:25
6.
03:39
7.
03:42
8.
03:09
9.
02:55

credits

released October 10, 2015

Composed by: Vebjørn Iversen
Lyrics by: Simen Kjeksrud, Jakob skogli, Vebjørn Iversen
Artwork by: Fabian Fjeldvik
Mixed mastered and reamped by: Buster Odeholm at Fatal Studios (except track 5)

Label: Negative Vibe Records (scandinavia)

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Atena Oslo, Norway

est. 2010
Drammen, Norway

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Track Name: Affair
Get him out

After all the things you taught me
the ethics that have stuck with me
you don't even bother to stay true to yourself
What makes it worth the risk?

what is happening? what is happening??
Track Name: Divorce
You're nothing more than a shallow self sentered bastard
You always said you'd be there, be here
you could have till you left her, left us, used us

there is nothing you can tell us to help us
no interaction no sign of affection
I thought it was beneath you
I've had enough of you, I've had enough of this

the lives that you're affecting
the ones that you're neglecting
I, feel my hate sizzling
You're our own fucking quisling

no more

mom dad, no more
mom dad, no more.

hope you know you fucked us all
feel it, see it.

the lives that you're affecting
the ones that you're neglecting
I, feel my hate sizzling
You're our own fucking quisling

JAKOB: 1:40 -
It was too hard but we still tried
We'll say this end could be a start
We'll never know unless we try
I'll figure out the how and when,
with a heart still stuck on why

It was too hard but we still tried
I'll say it's all for the best
It's what you wanted I guess

SIMEN: 2:10 -

where will i stay?
your or his house?
will you see me?
every wekend?

you are here but I am still all alone
in a hollow house and my hollow heart
could this just be forgotten, I think its even to late to try
it was the best of times it was the worst of times
but now there is nothing.
could I get myself up agian?
or will I sink down this path by myself?
Track Name: Firstborn
Take control of your life
one is born to evolve and not just to die
I see your problems but I don't see your reason
I try to empathize but don't really mean it

Mommy doesn't love me and daddy doesn't care
I'm a bitchy little addict who always lived in fear

Nobody believed in me I never had a chance
I am waiting for a miracle to come and save my ass

No demons to blame
No angels to thank
No demons to fight
cause they're not fucing real

we are rotting
we annihilate ourselves

"I make the boys hard"
"I make the men sin"
"I make them crawl just to get what I want
"I am the voice in your head that makes you"
"steal, hate, ruin, kill, fuck, do what god says"

we are suffering
but you wont see through the lies
you could change this with a different set of eyes

what you see might not be the resolution of your rescue
for your hopelessness

salvation won't help us
the silence is calling

there's no time to turn,
the illusion upon you needs to be shattered
your weakness will be your strength
but you have to wake up

no demons to blame
no angels to thank
no demons to fight
cause they're not fucking real
Track Name: Child Support
You're fucking others
while dad's paying for it
I try my best to forget
But I'm reminded by the stench
wearing the same clothes
third week in a row now
I haven't seen our money for years
you truly taught me all I know
never trust anyone, truly know that we're all alone
It might be wrong and the reason I'm rotting
I know I'm god, I'm satan I'm nothing

what I am is not what I would have wished for and
everything I've done has been for nothing
so see me for what I am
what I became and I have tried
I have wanted and struggled

take me back to the days before it all began
before he screwed you and left you for that stupid cunt
was she worth it? or just another thoughtless impulse?

"I forgive you"
do you forgive me?

I'm drawing short straws by the hour
trapped in a small dark room with no way out
I've got it up to my neck and now I can't breathe
I think I'm ready just take me back

what you see is just my fake reality, my kind of self control. thinking that it would help that i could be better, and i have prayed, i have wanted and struggled

"I forgive you"
do you forgive me?

take me back to the days before it all begun
before he screwed you and left us for that stupid cunt
was she worth it or just another thoughtless impulse?
Track Name: Molly
pop this shit, lose your shit

I don't give a fuck about what happens next
I'm not coming back
cause this world is the best
there's no betrayal here
no hate, distrust and no fear
I guess this feels like what others call home

take a hit HA HA HA

NA NA NA NA NA NA

This incredible feeling
that beats inside
I'm in the zone
In a streamed sensation

I feel my body of lightweightness

pop it, pupills dilate
shaking, increased heart-rate
they don't know what I consume
sit down, my eyes start mapping the room
Square by square in light-speed
I'm out and it's just what I need
finally smiling 'cause everything positive
finally peace of mind, finally I can breathe

I don't give a fuck about what happens next
I'm not coming back
cause this world is the best
there's no betrayal here
no hate, distrust and no fear
I guess this feels like what others call home


"The new friends the good ones
the small times"

let's go
let's go

I don't give a fuck about what happens next
I'm not coming back
'cause this world is the best

doing it, popping pills

NA NA NA NA


This incredible feeling
that beats inside
I feel my body
I feel lightweightness

what went up is coming down
and I'm coming back around
I'm going back home, but I'm all alone

exept for the voices
the ones without faces
they offer choices to ways
to escape to those places
where I just was
It's coming to get me
It's going to get me

I, I'm out off focus
I feel like dying
I'm sweating litres
my heart is burning
my heart is burning
Track Name: Viole(n)t
I can see the sounds running from the walls
I'm tasting colours no one else can see

My head is hollow, my body is heavy
It's fucking happening you better be ready

this is the shit, do you feel it? I'm fucking losing it

stumbling down the same direction, waking up from the same dream
Knowing it will never end, and I will never change

always tried my best with you and get us through this shit
but I guess I always knew it would finally come to this
I've fought this desire so many times before
But my mind is getting weaker and lust has only grown

you're the last I have, my sister, my everything

shut up, don't fucking look at me
shut up, don't fucking look at me

cross my heart and hope to die
there's nothing to stay for there's nothing to find
feel her pain and turn around
I'm nothing but weak

locked jaw make her shut it
call the demons 666
mom is gone cause she's not home
let's keep it that way.

feel her pain, break her trust.
She will never be the same.
And I will never, never change.

Watch my love cold, scared and quivering in the corner
my biggest desire now empty content
the fear in her eyes turns it all intro crushing regret

cross my heart and hope to die.

I'm so fucking sorry
I'm so fucking sorry
I'm so fucking sorry
Track Name: Black Lungs
fuck you
pointing your guns at my black lungs
your neglection created me
I am the dark side of your fucking inside
This is my vendetta and this is my revenge

the pain that you're feeling
is the life that I'm living
ever since you left
The shades of grey turn darker every day
Now I'm black and black is all i see
so I'm hate I hate every thing you are
she's the fresh wound
you are the oldest scar
what she got from me
I got from you

it wasn't me, it wasn't me
I swear to god it wasnt me
it wasn't me, it wasn't me
I swear to god it wasnt me
so save me from this mess I made
I'm closing in on what I am
My tears will turn to gasoline
and burn you snitches to the ground

I've been hating all my friends for far too long

shut up
I go to see you but I'm blinded by the flashing blue
And I haven't heard shit from you
we're always breathing the same tar
Still brothers but you went to far this time
It's time you get out here and say something
please
you should at least try to do something
You should hear the shit that they're saying
I've heard enough of it
I can't put up with this

I can't put up with this

fuck you pointing your guns at my black lungs
your neglection created me
I am the dark side of your fucking inside
This is my vendetta and this is my revenge

the pain that you're feeling
is the life that I'm living
ever since you left
The shades of grey turn darker every day
Now I'm black and black is all i see

so I'm hate I hate every thing you are
she's the fresh wound
you are the oldest scar
what she got from me I got from you

you and I we breathe the same black fucking tar
you and I we eat the same black fucking heart
you and I we breathe the same black fucking tar
you and I we eat the same black fucking heart

you and I we breathe the same black fucking tar
you and I we breathe the same black fucking tar
you and I we breathe the same black fucking tar
you and I we breathe the same black fucking tar
Track Name: Black Heart
I took a bloodoath with the demon inside
I'm wearing armour facing inwards just to keep
the dream, the lies alive.
I pledged allegiance to the mask covering my face
I'm the stranger inside, stranger inside.

The panic attacks, the panic reminds me
of chapters I never wrote
What I am and what I'm not
And I know so well
that you would accept it
well I'm sorry, but I never did

Missunderstandings
the memories I don't have
the chapters I never got to write
they haunt me

every day and every night
and they'll surely do
as long as I'm alive

The chapters I never wrote
all of the things I did not do
chapters I never wrote
will be the end of me